50 shades of Carley
by xxxMirendaCrosgrovexxx
Summary: [WARNING: Potentially offensive] Carly returns home one day and finds a note. What is written on the note might change her life forever. Will she give into temptation? (shall not be abandoned)
1. Chapter 1: Introsuction

**Notte: I apologyze for por Englihs. I am nto fro a Enlish speking cauntry. Thanks for standing underr. I don not own iCarel.**

I scowl with frusration at miself in the miror. Dam my hair - it just wan't behav.

Me name is Carley nd I usd to host a websho called iCarley. Those were the god times. Then everything changd when the acid kickd in.

My broher Sponcer is a artis. He tok on the parental role after me mother and fatter died in a tragik car acident in whic they didn't die imeddiately, so I can onli assum thej were in a horrible ammount of pain and agony bifore they die. Som people dont lik Sponcer's art.

I havne't sen much of he from the time when he went on a vacatio in Mexico and impregnated a plost operatve f to m methwhore trahny called Mharia. Muria's father force Sponker to mary Meria nd cary his chilld or he wuld be subjected to paying him ten backs in pesos. Spancer choose the bete option. I hear they takeing grat care of the baby, which miracleusly survive the forced aborton that ocured under Spluncer's gunpoint for about 2 haurs.

Fraddy, the boy that hed a crushing on my, daesn't seem to talk to me much enymore. I hava absolute no idea why, but his always atends clases after P.E. late. Odly enoh, I hear veri loud noices wen I was walking next to the boy' chaning room after P.E. had endd, that one time I acidentalllly went to schoool more than one a wiek.. It soundes like Praddy was moaning, but who care? Because of he incompetant we have to delay film our show so we don't releass new videas as mucho as bafore. And let me tell you're, it's geting reallly harad to mastabate to daily pagevievs that aren't compose in quadruple digitts. Even more oddly, he fill my locker with pidgeon shit and gve me a notoe say being a power bottom is way bette than being in a reletionship with me could be. I heva no idee what power bollock means, but fuk Fridhddy. Seriously, fuck him. In the ansu.

My best fren Sem is the only personal I can serious talk to or relat to. If I was to shot up a schoooooool it would be her who I wold have in the plaan. She's the Dylen Klebol to my Erik Haris. She's lezbiy but I thinking it's coll. She doesn't bother my pusy tooo much, and I know she's a great person for that. I mean cum on, ONE, just OEN non consenzual lezsie sex a wiek? How ofte do you se that? Sem end I hev fan dejs breaking inot suicid hotlines an telling people they wortles. It's so cuet and fuynn.

Sem was one of a kid persno...


	2. Chapter 2: Leterr Red Day deladyed

**Noet: Did you lyke the firs chaptre? I know it weren't very action, but it was just the ductionintro to get you raedy for the complex plot and developent of caracters. Thanks for understand.**

It semeed like a very very veyr queit Friday nigth and I was going hom. It was very veyr very lonely without Spancor around. So lonely, his dildos didn't stunk anymore, which was terribel. Nothing got me moisweter than the smell of my brother's prolapsesd asun that he had to support with a dilod so his intenarl ornags wouldn't fall out. A real tradegy. The bigtesg in my lyf.

My anus was stil sore from Mrs. Briggs sharp prainted nails when she treid to fit a entir bagpype in my popper. I was unclocking the dorr in a huryy because I realyy had to pooop and I didn't want to ruin my pisssfilled Steve Buscemi lace panites. Whil unlokcin g the dor I saw Fruddy's apmentar droo being open so I peke in and see Froody triyng on a pikn tutu with a 4 foot dilod while his mohter was drink Chlorox. It seem cool so I wave. Fryddi wave my as he give in pleaseru.

I dislock the dorr and saw a note. It said:

Actually I hurrries to take a shit firs and was read the note while scream ing ecchoes of baggpipe and Tspaco Bllel . It said:

"Carly Shay,

I am here to inform you that we have been watching you and we have a message and a request for you.

Maria was rubbing some ointment on Spencer's rear, because he had been experiencing serious anal bleeding from eating severe amounts of Mexican cuisine his northern bowels weren't used to and defecated 30 gallons of diarrhea and 50 pounds of static bowel movement, daily.

At that very moment an army of middle aged pedophiliac genderfluid overweight weeaboos rushed in the casa and pointed their katanas at Maria's new, shiny dong that had just been attached a few days ago and threatened him to give away Spencer or they would slice it. Maria just gave him away, washed his dirty ointment hands, changed his name to Mario and started receiving government money as a widower who lost his husband and cannot support for his child which he had sliced, cooked and eaten weeks ago and recorded on a two hour VHS months ago. The government doesn't know though. Mario sure is a smart cookie.

Anyway, the army demands you to interview Mr. C of the C. Industries, because that is the only way the hentai doujin/game store owner will be distracted enough for them to steal all the Haruhi Suzumiya genderbend media to enrich their fap material collection.

Otherwise they will decapitate Spencer and hijack every poorly monitored TV station replacing the footage with Spencer's decapitation. Oh and you will also be blamed for it thanks to their advanced video editing techniques and sent to prisons to spend your days licking filthy clits.

Make your choice.

Yours sincerely,

...

What did you actually think I would tell you who I was you idiot? What the fuck is wrong with you you fucking retard? Why do you have to ruin everything? Why don't you just go and fucking die so the gene pool would increase in average intelligence by 700%? Nobody would even care! I was already having a shit day now you make things even worse; I swear to fucking god this is the last time I ever talk to you, you goddamn cunt."

Taeking a poopy never felt so underdisatisfying. I was geniesnelly unpressed about it becaus dumping a take woudl always cherry me upwards. Maybe it was causebe Msr. Brrigs's pibepag dildo or maybe i'ts becous Spencor was in bug trouble and so was I. Mayeb it were the horiible gramer and spaling in the lette.

Meh who care, I'll try just enjoy the poopering scoopering.

Then some one knoked on the door. I run with my ponties down under and opende teh door.

It were Sam.

„Hey Carley! I gots a lube, huehuehue!"

"Sam, for the lasty fuck ingtime, I am no in the moody twoday, and you have all ready used up your ones (1+1-1) per week (week mean sevens (6+1) day) non consentual sex token. Plus, ur pussy smell lyke smoke from 9/11."

"Alright, if your gonna to be such a fuking coozze. Anyway whot's neuw?"

"Nutting really. Mrss Brigss gentle caress me with out my consent and I reailly had to badly popp just now. Oh, and Spencor is missing."

"That suck... Whot about oyur webshov? Did yau kidnapp thos imigrents so we can forced them to watched 3 hours of Extrame Bady Modificetion vidaos?"

"Nah Sum, that'l to have wati. Thers not enogh innnnigrants in the areae for me too strike. I do hev an idea, but we cann'ot film it without Fruddy, and he is buys maeking a new Goatse colecction."

"Le'ts go get her."

"Srue!"

The ddor front to aparmentt 8=D was aperia since Fruitddy had stick his rukcscak into his ani and it was stick in them with his apartmet keys. His mamo on the othere leg, lost her in a pasionnate sesane with Ljbewert where she stuck thum into his urtehra.

"Fredyya get hte fulck over here!"

"Ok, ok no yell to need yo armadillo clit grill. Hav some hertz, I barely have tim to film myslef because the black holle forming in my poopscoop has ben messing with my handc and they get shekay when I tr to take vid and piks of my..."

At thot verry very monemt me and Sam vomit'd glaciers of frozen sqiurt pusyjuise and waterfalss of mishmashed tortoise seamen from yesterday's PeTA conveniton we was plan to sabotagee, film and mek fun of, but ultimatey endy with most patron and visitor mouths being filled with sulcata samen. Fraedd'yes mom seaid as she gulpe a another botlle of Clorox:

"I'll clean this up later, just please leave. Please. Just leave. Please...please."

We sorta of got the feel she din't won't uss so we went to my apartmeth.

When we enter it fill of use tampons and threat message written in periood blod.

„Remember the Note Carly, remember the NOTE!"


	3. Chapter 3: The webshovv

**Note: Im' soryy it tokk so long. I just heva a lot to did in my lyfe and this is a veri intrusy and hard to writte story because of clomplex characters and polt. Thank four understnd.**

"What the FUKC is this noet Carley?" ask Frad.

"Lol idk I just gto it this moorning." me reply.

"Omg who da inferno care le'ts just go and film our showweb!" Sum intrajected.

The sho went on for two horas and we llive spreamed us insert hamssers in our pikn caved. Sems' hammpy choked whily I broked the hammy of me neck. It felt lyke the tym I lost my verginity while raping a baksetbllal american becuz there was lots of squrimng and bllod. We also show us reactping to snuff raep moviez and I was find it hard not to masturbait. Som geva in pretty quick tho. I was conpos. After that end we take traany fro basemeth and made him fuck melon with water. We inject it with extreme AIDS so he about to dy soon sadly...

Moving on. Sam jammed a watter wigler on Freyys'd ick and put a chasty titty belt so now he's constantly arouse when he moved. It'll be extreme funny on school on Mondayylmao.

"That was fun, rite guiz?" myself sayd I.

"Shur Karly. Wl'ee do the mimigrant BME thing very s00n. Then us can force penetart Jew refuuges with kObra sneks and keilbasas." Sammy sai with great excite.

"Yessses! Tthaat sssounnd greettttaa." sad Frad, his weiner schnitzell beign tickle by the water wigglr.

"Well I see you guis tumowwor. Sersly. Go. Now. Gfto." I say ith viogr in my voic.

As they lev, Sem walki norma and Frud walkygn lik he had a bratwurst mit sauerkraut in hies ani, I drop on mi cauch tire. It was very comfy not. Staregn in the celliing, guzlling sulcata semaen I harveste tody, I start to wonder...

OH SHIT SPENCERS GONE.

I re meme beer that notee I got befor and search my aparmen for it. When I find it I red it once agan, becaus it was so borign I forgott half of a third of a half of a half of it. I star in the cell ing beyonce again beca the us leterr scock me so much. Breading heavily I start think smart strateg. I ned to sev my bruder and get er out of Mehcixo. Muria kild d baby and her father dieieieing of pancreaes cance aniwai so I don't think Spencar leafing will affect anybody.

So, is sfart thinkink: Whot shoudl I do? Who is this rm. C. anyway? Is it som kind of an trap? Do they kill want me too? Is it thing some dangerous? No! I can't think like thit. Spoogencer is my frattttttelo and only one of my fam left. Wel extepc of my grand PA, but he change surgical into a basketobal american so I dont' recogniz him as a guman bein'. It probably why we haven't talked in while.

Whyle I was care thiking fully, the phone riiing and someone say:

"What have you done to my daughter?"

"Whoo dis?"

"Oh sorry, wrong number."

I thought that was weird enough but then it ring again!

"Hello, Carly."

"Whoo dis?"

"It's the people who sent you the letter. Have you decided on what you'll do?"

"Hmmhmhmmhmhmhmmmmmmh."

At thit mamenh I didn't knaw whot todo. Irocinaly only a few secnodz latre did I realis the trut. I need Spcerene. I luv him. I mrs. mastarbaiting to him after the rooffie kickes in and his coking. I need him beck, aftarall no body in Mhehxihcho ms. his.

"Ok guyz. I think I wil interview Mr.C."

"Thank you Carly. It means a lot to us. We'll help you get your brother back in return."

"K lol."

As the phune hinged himself with a nose, I thinking. Who si Mr. C? Noh wait i already think about ths. I was think, did I right the make choic? Am me going to regreet thut doing this? I was asking Carl(that's me)ey as a Tesax sized mulatto neggro turd proscribed from myself esteem whole. It stinck but it cool. I called him homes because I like thim. Homes and I had fun of lot, but I ate him becaus he was boring. Later I cummied out my third enema this today. Then I added some strong smerring tabasco to mask the smelll and gave it to a shelter for the por saying it were a meat-chicke mexcan soop. I then went out to make out to outside with some basketball american. There were neno so I fucked som ugly as shit italyan goy in the arseanal.

Anfortunetaluy I had an abort of ions this month so i had to wait for months before I could pop this babyzit. It jsut not the same experienc aborting before it's 8 months old.

I feelingedt debressed so I eate some semean fileld Milkik chohcolhat. I could feled they didn't use real semaen anymor and it just made thing more bads.

I went to Freds'dy partamento nbecause I was bred and wanted us to hev some fun unlike usually becaus we most try to annihialiateat each other oricifes. But we said we'd chill now. I wanted us to go bombping an care centerly elder, but he had to empty his ass from the 50 gallons of hot jjiz. I made him teabag his depress ,drunk, a day- comatos, mothe,r because I thought it would rad. Lolz it was!

We decided to do it tomorrow becaus the centre get more people at this time of year and we would prank lol more dumb old peplz. Im' a smarty panties.

Sam was busy argue with her momm about the truth behind 7/11 and the influence of agricultural economics on quasisocio-capitalist colleges that give degrees in drama, music, film, art and pornography acting. That sucky.

I want hous to my apament once agais and decied to just go on tumlrb and go tell ugly overweight cows that they're beutiful and that doctors are just gelatin of their gauss (more like gassy amirite) curves so they eat and I can go tot heir home and continu filmig a sequel to the movilm "Feed" from the year 1*1*1*1*1*2005.

As I finnish shed rubing my hug cocc that I keep hide in my vag in public, my squirt smegma phoney rings and I answer, tiredingly.

"Who dis"

"It's mR. C!"

"Holy shit,"


	4. Chapter 4: A voices in the distrance

**AN: Helloo peoples! Long time, yes see! I did written a fews newers stoories since publishing the last craphter, but I simplies had lots of life drama that drained me down, thannks to a very special Puerto-Rican/Portuguese goy (not even kidinngs lol). I haved, though, founds a new leasing on life and I mean not to let any other cancerous infest babies like him ruin it for me. Please enjoys! Newer parts will cum soon, I promise!**

"You is Mr.c?" I ask, with poopi teares forming in me eyes.

"Yes. My previous statement informs you of such affairs."

At that mement my hertz was beating at 20 hearts freneqcy. I couldn't fothermucking belive that it was him. Has the secrets organizations contact him already? Al the time freezen and I just stadn there. What the hello ouhgt i tell her?

"Uhhh, I seen... Did somebodyoranyotherpieceoforganicorsemiorganicmatter tolden your about me?" I ask, my lipps shivvryng like an anus about to receivie a 20'' cokk.

"Oh, yes indeed," he said, his lips smacking like hippopotamuses having gay sex "I had certainly heard of something. Apparently you host some sort of a webshow and you want to interview me. Is that correct?"

"Uhhh, yes. Shure. That woold the positive stametent be." said me, shrivering like a unshaveed catpussy shepp in spring.

I could hear his gillging like a oversprized elefphant offjerking a blue kangaroo while fellatting an donkee-horsy. It was so xesy that mine himyen start to refrom form the horniness.

"Well, you see, I have a very TIGHT schedule. But I'm sure I could get you TO FIT inside... uhh.. fit it inside... the schedule..."

"Oh I'm süre we'll will found sometime to do the interwatch. Ou'r shedule is doing a beinf of emtpy at the moments anyway. Thanks you for tis wonderfully opportuntitty."

"My PLEASURE. We'll discuss the date and time very soon."

"Oh ands before yous' goine, what doth thours first namae?"

"That, my friend Charles shall remain a secret for now. See you later!"

He hung up.

Nott even hiss cock, but on the phon.

I am so maad at mens the dayz of these.

Anwywas, I were raelly tireds so I deciding was to go sleepy. I puted on my fishnets pajama so I walker down with red polka-dance-dots on my skin. I openestd the curt(kob)ains at my roombed wider than the reprofucktory organs off a priest in an daycarre cenrte. Thinkgen of childgrape, I slowl descent to sllep...

"Yo Carlz!" I hears.

It bee Slam. I wonderd how she manage mented to get the dorr opens withouts the keyi, but I reelly was no't in a mood of givings of shits to others'.

"Hay Sem." me saysing, barley being awokan, fixin mey ugly beaner-like hairs smellthing of rosa vokda juice russian semen beans "What's is it's?"

"Oh, wellp, you see Carl," she sad, flucking her haair in hour finders "I was wondersing if i could get yoor pubez off yo vagani by giving you zhelf canser. You'r pubricant alway gets in my's mouf."

At thpiss very momentum I had a hard-off becaus the nearby passing train remindes me of Auschwits where grandfa uses to work and thats bee my favuorite smut story.

"Sum, please, stoop bing so FUCKING stuppid, k.o.?"

"Goddam Carlz, you know water? Fucker you, you frickeng freckles fart babby. I hadd enoughs of your' bullspermic agantonizing parashitic homophoebia, ya feckeng pigg!" Dim Sam seid and walke out like an Gestapo piercin thrugh da citits of Polland land.

"No, Sam! Whait! I didn't mea-"

Butt alas, it were to lates. Slam's goochi giichi coochie left/right the apartments buildings runnings, like Sonic the Heggyhogs running aways from a hornneh Knuckels' eleven foots long echedna dongs that wouldy pierce the heavens, if god actual exist checkm8 creationistststs.

I was way to horny be to runinn so I stopp walkings after 2 meter (GOTS A PROBLEMS WITH METRICS SYSTEMS YA FILTHY FUCKEN AMERUCAN?) whichs is abutt 6 and halfs foots (HAPII?). I were way two busy going to choke my chickhen, spank my monkeez, go on a dates with Rosiey Palm(tree)s.

The chickin choken went wellz, on the bad SIDE, I dont' hav a chicklen to put in the cockofight next wek, but on the plus side(aid)s, I cans seller it to KFS. Shit going to will be so cashity cash cash.

Mon key spanking also wents welldone. I goned to the zooo and break in the cage to spank. Marmoset are really tini so I have great pleisure spanking their prostate with my election. So tighty whity, like a virgin's faloppian tubes.

Rose(chu)y Palms didn not arrives at datte, so I very mads were, smoke was cuming out of my eals. I swer to fricking chroist I will blimey the shite out of Chris-khan's anus blody m7. If I weren't doing a being of hungover like a horse I would been smacking the bloody ass-shites out of her big fatt arshe. But atlas, the mental sstres have already was done.

After masturscating three thymes in a grow, I decided it weres the time too plan th einterviev withs mR. c. Than suddently I starting to hears voicers:

"Carly!

This is me, Mr. C! I am currently using my telepathic powers, because at this very moment, they are quite very much detrimental as to how the Operation is going to proceed. I propose that we carry out the interview in my penthouse with the filming done by my crew. Your party can do the editing if you wish to do so, but please keep the same directive as the original. You are going to be given a paper with questions at the interview, but please feel free to speak your mind and ask something that you want to know, if so. Improvisation never hurt anyone."

I wants to repply, butt i don'ts knows how two talke telephallically, so I did haved not.

"I've scheduled the interview on Monday at 4 PM sharp. I am sorry to tell you of this now, but I am going to be very busy next week and it was really hard to find an open spot on my timetable. I hope you can understand. Anyway, see you in two days!"

Ass the vocarls echooed thei're last contenst at the distantce, a faint fire hollorcausted throug my hertz.


End file.
